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writing || death and my personal god

IoanaApril 17, 2018

Our philosophy textbook prefaces the unit on human nature by explaining that our view of human nature has a big impact in how we live our lives. If we are skeptical of people’s intentions, not only will we interpret the actions of others through that lens, but we will also have a tendency to act warily and in our own self-interest. Religious belief is similar. I think our perspective of the world and therefore how we interact with it is often shaped by our experiences, and may have little to do with the overarching values of our religion. However, there’s a lot of things we don’t experience or understand, and religion tends to fill in those gaps.

In my case, religion has never had a big role to play in my life. My personal values were mostly shaped by my parents and my experiences, not my church. That being said, I grew up Christian Orthodox, and my family believed in God, sometimes prayed before bed, and occasionally attended church. However, it was something that was just there and it didn’t really add to my life besides being an explanation of what would happen after death (we would go to Heaven) and providing the comfort that there was someone watching over us, tuning into our needs.

As my parents and I spent more time alone in Canada (our family remained in Romania), we began to lose touch with our religious roots. Sometimes I think that the hustle and bustle of the Western world comes with its own Gods (an idea I somewhat stole from Neil Gaiman’s book “American Gods”). Today, I still turn to faith sometimes when I am going through a difficult time, when I’m feeling grateful, or when I’m hoping for something specific to happen in my life. However, I wouldn’t call my personal beliefs religious or Christian. The God that I pray to is less of a loving father than a vast and breathtaking entity that encompasses everything and is everywhere. I don’t quite know why I see it this way; perhaps it has to do with my love of science fiction and the magic I associate with looking up at a star-filled sky at night or doing my yoga practice. In any case, life for me is the present, and while it is nice to have an explanation for things beyond our control, it is somewhat humbling to simply accept that some things we may never know. Instead, I turn to things that make my body, mind and soul feel whole – like meditation, yoga, being in nature, connecting with other humans, and reminding myself to be grateful of the miracle that I am alive.

Speaking of being alive, I have noticed that more than anything else, death is what brings us back to religion. My uncle passed away of cancer when he was in his thirties, leaving behind three children (my cousins) and his widow (my aunt). It was a blow to the family. Being very young, I didn’t really understand it, but I did notice a change overcome my aunt and grandparents. They began going to church each Sunday, and my aunt and cousins went on many day-long trips to visit churches. Suddenly, their house was peppered with icons and religious symbols, and each Friday they avoided eating meat and dairy. Still, it was something I noticed but didn’t understand.

Four months ago, someone close to my family passed away from cancer. She was no older than my parents, and I’d grown up with her and her two daughters who were close to my age. I vividly remembered her kindness in life, and more recently, her debilitating struggle with a cancer that ate away at her body. For weeks after the visitation and funeral, it was like something had broken inside me. Or maybe something that had been broken had been viciously forced into place. Everything I saw and everyone I interacted with was a miracle and the smallest things choked me up in overwhelming gratitude.

Life is short, there are so many things to do, that there simply is no time to waste in negativity. Perhaps that’s the foundation for my religion.

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Nice to meet you!

Hi, it’s Ioana! I’m a blogger, brand marketer, and recent Queen’s Commerce alumni. When I’m not drinking coffee, reading, studying or exploring the city, I dabble in creative projects like this one!

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ioana | mistral spirit | organization & creativity
Caught the @evergreen_brick_works farmers market t Caught the @evergreen_brick_works farmers market this Saturday for another @usktoronto sketching meetup! Always a great time with this group. 🥳 I’ll admit I didn’t do much sketching this time around… was *very* busy making the rounds at the farmers market. 😜

#usktoronto #torontosketching #evergreenbrickworksmarket #urbansketching #travelsketch
little cup, GIANT smile 🥳 Totally in my elemen little cup, GIANT smile 🥳

Totally in my element at the @usktoronto exhibition reception event at @atoriginto a couple weekends ago. The exhibit showcases sketches by local artists that are primarily done on-location in places we travel to or live in. I’ve tagged a few of the artists so you can tap through to their profiles!

You might remember helping me choose which two sketches to submit to the show application back in December. Check them out hanging right there on the wall in slide 3! 

And HUGE thanks for helping me narrow it down. 🥰

If you’re in the area come check it out. (Or better yet, let’s go together!) 👯‍♀️

#urbansketching #travelsketching #urbansketchers #usktoronto #usk #travelsketchtoronto #urbansketchersexhibit
Some more photos from our @usktoronto urban sketch Some more photos from our @usktoronto urban sketchers meetup this Sunday in Toronto at @theonlycafe!

Instantly loved the interior of this cafe. 👌 I feel like maximalist interiors speak to my soul. Its late and maybe this isn’t quite it, but … they sort of remind me of my favourite people.

#urbansketchers #torontoart #urbansketch #sketchbook #sketching #artjournal #travelsketch #drawyourday #watercolor #urbansketching #sketchjournal #finelinerdrawing #moleskine #moleskinesketchbook #watercolortraveljournal #watercolordrawing #traveljournal #travelwatercolor
The most perfect Sunday morning sketching meetup w The most perfect Sunday morning sketching meetup with @usktoronto at @theonlycafe 🥰 Art + chill + new friends + coffee = happy soul

Thanks for organizing @satori3000! Check out these talented artists: @deshpande.shardul @maragulens @aish_cj @april.sketchedthis @sarawenn17 @beverleydaniels5 @hirtescufineart @sonalipraharajarts @satori3000 @sonyapadovani @michaeltsouras
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Caught the @evergreen_brick_works farmers market t Caught the @evergreen_brick_works farmers market this Saturday for another @usktoronto sketching meetup! Always a great time with this group. 🥳 I’ll admit I didn’t do much sketching this time around… was *very* busy making the rounds at the farmers market. 😜

#usktoronto #torontosketching #evergreenbrickworksmarket #urbansketching #travelsketch
little cup, GIANT smile 🥳 Totally in my elemen little cup, GIANT smile 🥳

Totally in my element at the @usktoronto exhibition reception event at @atoriginto a couple weekends ago. The exhibit showcases sketches by local artists that are primarily done on-location in places we travel to or live in. I’ve tagged a few of the artists so you can tap through to their profiles!

You might remember helping me choose which two sketches to submit to the show application back in December. Check them out hanging right there on the wall in slide 3! 

And HUGE thanks for helping me narrow it down. 🥰

If you’re in the area come check it out. (Or better yet, let’s go together!) 👯‍♀️

#urbansketching #travelsketching #urbansketchers #usktoronto #usk #travelsketchtoronto #urbansketchersexhibit
Some more photos from our @usktoronto urban sketch Some more photos from our @usktoronto urban sketchers meetup this Sunday in Toronto at @theonlycafe!

Instantly loved the interior of this cafe. 👌 I feel like maximalist interiors speak to my soul. Its late and maybe this isn’t quite it, but … they sort of remind me of my favourite people.

#urbansketchers #torontoart #urbansketch #sketchbook #sketching #artjournal #travelsketch #drawyourday #watercolor #urbansketching #sketchjournal #finelinerdrawing #moleskine #moleskinesketchbook #watercolortraveljournal #watercolordrawing #traveljournal #travelwatercolor
The most perfect Sunday morning sketching meetup w The most perfect Sunday morning sketching meetup with @usktoronto at @theonlycafe 🥰 Art + chill + new friends + coffee = happy soul

Thanks for organizing @satori3000! Check out these talented artists: @deshpande.shardul @maragulens @aish_cj @april.sketchedthis @sarawenn17 @beverleydaniels5 @hirtescufineart @sonalipraharajarts @satori3000 @sonyapadovani @michaeltsouras
So glad I overcame my initial hesitation toward th So glad I overcame my initial hesitation toward this book being about video games. It’s a delight for my brain so far and I’m not ashamed to admit that I spent all of this morning and afternoon reading (it was glorious) and I’ve learned 3 new words I adore:
- dilettante
- Weltschmerz
- palimpsest

Pls note: photos taken “while reading” are obviously not as impromptu as they may appear on Instagram. They’re usually when (a) you’re on a reading intermission because you either haven’t started or are getting a bit tired of reading for so long or (b) there’s a long period of descriptive text that doesn’t necessarily represent the quality of the book and is a good time to hashtag let-me-take-a-selfie. So don’t read this one page and form an opinion about the book. Instagram isn’t reality. 😜

Pls also note I’m only 40% through the book so my review isn’t definite. I’ve been burned before by jumping too excitedly to recommend a book (in this case, TV show) to everyone around me before realizing it gets WEIRD later on. So take my moment of excitement with a grain of salt - more thoughts to come!
Just received this new pen from @bulletjournal and Just received this new pen from @bulletjournal and @leuchtturm1917 @leuchtturm1917canada! 👀 Here’s a closer look!

Can you tell I had so much fun unboxing this 😅 It’s my new desk pen for days that I want to feel a little ✨fancy✨

#gifted #pen #amwriting #bulletjournalleuchtturm1917 #gelpen #journal #journaling #planner #studygram #aestheticstudy #bujo #bulletjournal #bulletjournalpen #bujopen #minimalistplanner #bulletjournaling #bulletjournalcommunity #penlover
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